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Maybe your coworker is constantly interrupting team meetings with her own unrelated opinions; it seems like everything is always about her. Or maybe you didn't get the raises you deserve and your job is becoming increasingly difficult. Or, in my case, there's a kid in my eighth grade English class monopolizing the room and making it difficult to focus on my work! Whatever the reason, don't fret; here are twenty ways to handle hurtful people at work. 1 It's absolutely fine to talk with someone like this in private. Sometimes they end up doing better when they're able to take their words back and see how they hit their target (even if they only realize after). 2 Try to be proactive and clear about your boundaries. Don't let them get away with messing with you, and don't let them dictate where the conversation goes. 3 Keep these things in mind: The more obvious and hurtful they say things, the less likely they are to change their behavior. If they tell you that you're unqualified for a job, let them know that you're not interested in working for them — just because they're playing hardball won't make it true (at least, not for your career). 4 If you'd like to make sure they'll stop spreading rumors or harassing other people at work, it would be best to speak up before those rumors become believable. A face-to-face conversation is always better than a confrontation that could get ugly online. 5 In most cases, these kinds of emotionally manipulative people have been hurting people for a long time and they're comfortable in the status quo. Don't let them get away with it for your sake or for their sake. You can help a lot more people if they start taking responsibility for what they say and do. 6 Finally, you have to have enough self-respect to cut ties with them when they show you who they really are. Don't stick around in a toxic environment longer than necessary. 7 If you decide to stick around in a situation like this, be aware of how it's affecting your mental and physical well-being. It could be affecting your stress level and your sleeping patterns. 8 The goal is to stay focused and motivated, not upset and anxious. 9 Do things that make you happy when you're feeling unproductive. Meditating, exercising, listening to music — anything that keeps your mind focused on something other than the conversation at hand will help you stay calm and collected. 10 •You can leave work early without any notice if an important meeting or project falls through due to the actions of the person who is bothering you. The boss will understand if you inconvenience them for this reason. 11 The only way to get them to stop is if you show that what they're doing is unacceptable. 12 Being mean or hurtful will make them feel powerful, but thinking that they can hurt you or other people won't give them the power they're looking for. 13 •Remembering that their behavior isn't about you can be very helpful when it comes to responding calmly and rationally. Everyone else might be reacting strongly because it's their feelings on the line, but you don't have to respond in kind. 14 •If all else fails, let your boss know how much this person has been bothering you. cfa1e77820